Where does one start? At the beginning I suppose or as far as my memory will take me back.
I remember one day playing outside our old house and seeing you walk up to the road after you’d been away at work day and relief shoot through me, my Momma was home, everything was ok again.
My next memory isn’t a great one, but it’s the day everything changed. I watched as he hit you, pushed you and scratched you, how could someone who was supposed to love you do these things to you? It was all over and I watched you cry, sitting in front of the mirror and pulling your top down to see the scrapes he left behind.
You walked away from him that next day and I admire your bravery and strength so much. It has been no easy road since then, he hasn’t made it easy for you and your mind hasn’t made it easy for you and we definitely haven’t made it easy for you. I guess you can run away from him but he’s still there, the memory lives on.
You had to do it all alone, you had to raise four girls with no money and no help from anyone. You got up each day and fought the world and I love you so much for giving us all the opportunities you never had.
But as much as I admire your bravery then, it’s now I admire most, it’s the you now, I look up to. You are challenging everything you’ve ever known, you are challenging your mind and the thoughts that it stores and you are facing the past through therapy.
You are changing. You are putting yourself and your health first. You’re a Vegan and I love you for it. You are planning your future and looking forward to this part of your life and proving you are never too old to try something new.
You gave your four girls the freedom to be who they want to be and become who they want to be. You never pushed anything on us and I love you so much for that. Everything in our house was and still is open to discussion. You’ll never know how much that shaped us.
I hope you look at us and know that you raised four strong, independent, happy feminists who care about others and animals and who would do anything for you.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I’m so glad you walked away.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.